To mark the start of Eating Disorder Awareness Week and 3 days until the launch of 2nd edition of Hope with Eating Disorders, I feel humbled to share the poem my daughter Samantha has written about Anorexia Nervosa, which opens my new book, which you can order here.
by Samantha Crilly
Sitting down to my family dinner,
Everyone staring as I become thinner.
Ana slowly creeping into my thoughts
Telling me to put down my knife and fork.
There’s nothing I can do to make her eat, Mum whispers to Dad,
Ana smiles all smug and glad.
I don’t understand why she won’t eat, Dad mutters to Mum.
Secret is I do, I’m just wrapped around Ana’s thumb.
Feeling my bones rub against the chair
Even through all the layers I wear
Running upstairs and locking my door
Drained and exhausted I collapse on the floor.
Ana, you’re killing me, I can’t let you win.
I take off my top and see my heart beat through my skin.
Mum and Dad banging on the door,
I whisper to Ana I don’t want you anymore –
I’m going to die if you win this war!
You’re nothing without me Ana cries,
Another one of her crazy lies.
Ana will always find a way of creeping into your mind,
Brainwashing you, making you blind
Unable to see what you are doing to your body,
To her it is just an evil hobby.
To those she has touched and lived within,
Please, please, do not let her win.
Hers is a corrupt and vicious mind.
To make yourself happy, it is not her but you, you must find.